I'm Jack Henry and I approve this message

As your candidate for the presidential nomination for the Rabbit A/B pods, I promise to be your candidate for change. No longer can we tolerate the policies of my predecessors in this pod as we fight the tyranny of IV sticks and cold thermometers.

I have heard your cries at night!

I have smelled your poopy diapers of protest!

I too have had the bright lights of fear shined in my eyes!

No longer will you have to deal with these injustices. In my administration, every blanket will be warm, but not too hot. Your parents will listen to you and obey your commands. Furthermore, your diapers will be changed every 5 minutes regardless of whether you soiled them or not. And, if you happen to pee or poop on someone, they will like it!

Do not listen to my opponent in Rabbit B pod. She claims to have all of the answers and to provide free chocolate chip cookies to your parents. But I ask you, what do you receive? How do you benefit from said cookies, when all you want is milk!

So remember to vote for Jack Henry White!


I am the only candidate who has an American flag attached to my IV and the Rabbit logo tattoo to my behind.

I'm Jack Henry and I approve this message.